The hint of Winter has become blatantly obvious, we are in the thick of it. The nights in Perth are much cooler and the air is noticeably thinner. The cloudy, stormy days now outweigh the sunny ones and my Indian/Portuguese tan-glow has dwindled to a pale complexion, I am sporting duller freckles too. Seriously, I need some sun.
I’m finding that kicking pads at Fight training every night is actually painful, because my toes are so cold. God, as I sit here now writing this blog, my toes are freezing. Whilst it’s mostly drab and miserable, there is something about Winter that I actually do enjoy; it is the eery feeling that comes with this season, and what that feeling initiates for me.
I feel like Winter is that time of the year where it’s easy to be drawn into your feelings, and as a Writer there is something so attractive about that. The truth is, to be a Writer you must be willing to delve into your thoughts and beliefs, into the pits of all that you are. It’s an emotional experience for me, every fucking time.
Humans are incredibly sensitive to climates and weather, so it makes perfect sense that at this time of year when it is miserable and freezing outside, our mood often closely resembles and mirrors the weather. When it’s storming and raining, you kind of just want to curl up in a ball by the fire (or heater, let’s be realistic) and watch a movie, with your favorite comfort foods.
As a Writer though, I find this to be the most productive season of the year for me. Most evenings after training, I look forward to sitting down with my laptop or a journal to express my thoughts in the most gripping and honest way possible.
In Winter, it’s like I’m validated for being all emotionally charged and expressive, and shit. It’s a given, you know? It’s Winter, pour your heart out.
To be a Writer, is to be Transparent. You bleed into your Words…
You are naked, standing on a concrete island in the middle of a bustling freeway. There are cars zooming by on either side of you, the crosswinds of passing traffic whips your skin. You feel vulnerable, slightly terrified – confused even, among a whole other array of emotions. You wonder if people will laugh at you, or admire you for your bravery. Are they judging you, or do you inspire them? Can they comprehend that there is context to your action, or do they simply see a naked person in the middle of the road? This is a risk, you can feel every fiber of your being tightly coiled…
Yet the fact remains, you chose to stand here in the middle of this freeway; naked. You chose to bare your flaws and insecurities, so then what is the purpose of it all? No one willingly catapults themselves into vulnerability, if there is no cause or belief that such an action is with good reason.
My reason, for standing naked on the freeway?
I tell the stories of upcoming and prominent Fighters from all around the world every single day on TFV. These are inspiring stories that sometimes even bring me to tears (I’ll admit it – I’m an emotional person, okay), but I find such joy in the job that I do.
Telling the story of a Fighter, past or present, gives me a thrill and a profound sense of satisfaction that I can’t really explain. I’d always dreamed of being a story teller and an author as a little girl, so The Fight Vault in many ways is a dream that I turned into my reality. My writing and work for The Fight Vault has a genuine purpose, which in turn gives me purpose in life. I believe to my absolute core that everyone has a story worth telling. That belief drives The Fight Vault, and I spend many hours writing everyone else’s story every week…
Yet writing my own story is difficult, because I wonder if people even care or if my story is relevant.
So, my hope for this blog is that you might be able to find a home in my words. If my story can help even just one person out there then bearing my soul to you was entirely worth it. My purpose then, is really taking a chance on possibly helping someone out there. We all need a reminder that we aren’t alone in this crazy, crazy world.
That analogy of standing naked on the freeway is what Blogging and Writing truly feels like. I put myself out there every single time I write an article or a feature and in this instance, a personal Blog. Any creative person or artist can relate. I have a good friend who is a Photographer, he works with my Team and I at The Fight Vault frequently. He is an amazing photographer, but I know that he is so passionate about his Photography that it’s almost scary for him to put it out there. He wants people to love it, to admire the moment he captured – not because he captured it, but because it was a moment worth capturing. He wants people to appreciate the beauty of what he saw through the lens; it’s entirely passion. (Ed, you know I’m talking about you buddy!)
I feel exactly the same about my writing though. It’s not so much about me, but the story which I can see and feel behind these words. There is context, there is meaning and purpose to what I am actually trying to convey with words and I can only hope that people understand that.
I believe that you should totally do whatever your soul gravitates towards. I wake up everyday and my mind is already filled with ideas for The Fight Vault and techniques I want to practice in training that day. I don’t think of much else, my entire environment is completely filtered through those two aspects of my life; Writing and Muay Thai. I know I will end up in Thailand some day, happily fighting every other weekend and running The Fight Vault from my authentic condo somewhere in the mountains of Chiang Mai. That is one of my ultimate goals, I also know I want to travel the world and see as much of this earth as I can before my time is up.
What I am really saying is, I believe I have found my purpose (or at least part of it) in Writing and Muay Thai. I want to use my passion for Writing to inspire others and to help others.
You can expect blogs and rants from me, poetry, lyrics and random, late night ponderings… This is my space, but I am inviting you into it. This is a raw, uncut and honest account of the lessons I am learning, the people I am meeting and the risks I am taking. Sure, this is my story but I just know there’ll be traces of it which you will be able to relate to. I believe blogging serves as the scarlet thread for humanity, one person’s experience will in some way relate to another person’s journey; and as a result, we feel connected.
Anyway, before I really do begin to ramble, I also want to say thank you for visiting my blog. I really hope you find a home in my words, and that the things which I choose to write about are both intriguing and inspiring for you, or at the very least relatable.
Here’s my favourite inspirational quote for the week (I’m a sucker for inspirational quotes, slapped onto colorful backgrounds, later to be found on Pinterest)…
“..writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” Ernest Hemingway
Cheers – here’s to a promising, emotional and hopefully inspirational journey ahead.